missing again...

I certainly seem to be MIA these days, well, from my blog anyway. I received a call Oct. 18th that my ex-husband to my 2 daughters was killed in a tragic accident out of state down in South Carolina. I have to say it was a shock to all of us. Of course it would be to anyone, right? I was married to him for 17 years and divorced him because he had a drinking problem and wouldn't address it. Over the years he has distanced himself from the girls with just a few calls during the whole year and it has been hardest on my 17 year old. I have been on an emotionally roller coaster the last month and really, I am soo wanting off it and now sounds really good. I find myself crying at a drop of a dime and can't seem to shake this somber mood I feel in. To add to the situation I have had to plan his memorial service. His family thought it might be best for the girls that I would do what was right for them and at our church, and to some degree I agree, so I just did it. It has been way too emotional for me and I would have never have guessed the flood of emotions that has taken over me during all of this. I never would have thought this would hurt so much after 10 years after the divorce, but it really does. Since this happened out of town and his remains was just received last week and since our youngest daughter is on a mission trip with her step dad this week, I have planned for the service to be next Friday, Nov. 21. A whole month of this has been DRAINING.....I will be relieved some when this is all in the past. Please hold my girls and me in prayer.